We strive to make every issue stronger than the last, and with that in mind, we bring you the funny, heartfelt, confounding, and lovely Issue 17. This issue features Alex Trebek, Yiddish Morse code liner notes, self proclaimed world-famous cheesy hashbrowns, HAL, shoplifted goods, and -- wait for it -- CATS. It'll take you a hearty 32.70 minutes to read, which, coincidentally, is the number you keep seeing everywhere and is starting to seriously freak you out. As usual, we couldn't be prouder. Unless maybe it became animated and started giving back massages. That would be damn cool and we would certainly not complain.