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i miss licking her asshole



‍I loved licking

her asshole.

The reasons for me loving

to lick her asshole

were twofold


1) Her asshole tasted just like

a really, really good

chocolate milkshake/

the scene from the movie “Titanic”

where Jack draws Rose

wearing nothing but the

“Heart of the Ocean” necklace.

2) Whenever I licked her asshole

I felt at home.

   Or, like, my tongue

felt at home.

Like my tongue woulda received

all of its mail


Like my tongue woulda moved in

with its wife

and then had kids

and then raised its family


Like two Jehovah’s Witnesses

woulda knocked on the door

of her asshole

   at, like, 8 A.M.

one Sunday morning

and then my tongue woulda answered the door

and began screaming,

   “Are you serious?

       Are you fuckin’ serious?

Knocking on my door

and waking me up at 8 in the morning

on a weekend?

I work all week,

   God dammit,

and when the weekend finally comes

I wanna be able to sleep in!

   Get outta here!

       Get the shit outta here!”

But my tongue

doesn’t lick her her asshole


My tongue

is homeless.

It lives in a cardboard box

inside my mouth

and sometimes people open my mouth

and cram change inside of it

and then they go,

   “Promise me

you’re only gonna buy food

with this…”

and my tongue goes,

   “Yes, I promise you

I’m only gonna buy food

with this.”

But my tongue

never does.

It just buys booze.



and more booze.

I miss licking

her asshole.

I miss my tongue

not being homeless.

I miss how even the dirtiest/

most “disgusting” parts of her

felt like home

to me.

And they say


is where the heart



   if that’s true,

a large part of me

is still inside her asshole

where it belongs

   and where it will stay

until she decides

to shit me


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Issue 18


September 22, 2017

Calvero is a crazy cat guy extraordinaire and author of 'i want love so great it makes nicholas sparks cream in his pants' & 'someday i'm going to marry Katy Perry'.

i dont feel like fininishing this website right now and i am sorry

And if it's destroyed,

it will be so forever.

Treasure each item.

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Issue 18

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