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The Anachronistics

By 

James Bezerra

Socrates never ate a donut. 

Jesus couldn’t work a telephone. 

Helen Keller didn’t play Tetris. 

Moses never saw a penguin. 

Winston Churchill didn’t even have an email address.

Charlemagne couldn’t dunk. 

Karl Marx didn’t use credit cards. 

Galileo Galilei had never even heard of New York City. 

Thomas Jefferson couldn’t parallel park.

Quiz question:

Which of these wasn't a line in the The Anachronistics?

Buddha never ate General Tso's chicken.

Buddha never ate General Tso's chicken.

Socrates never ate a donut.

Socrates never ate a donut.

Helen Keller didn’t play Tetris.

Helen Keller didn’t play Tetris.

Thomas Jefferson couldn’t parallel park.

Thomas Jefferson couldn’t parallel park.

Congratulations!
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Issue 6

published 

February 22, 2017

The Anachronistics was written by James Bezerra, who is a writer and MFA student in Portland Oregon. He is a recipient of The Northridge Review Fiction Award, The Oliver W. Evans Writing Prize, and was a 2016 artist-in-residence with the Angeles National Forest.

i dont feel like fininishing this website right now and i am sorry

I have an issue

with my mouth moving faster

than my brain sometimes.

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Issue 6

This writing was originally published in Opium Magazine, and is not listed in the Lit.cat archives.
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